Do you have a strong-willed, sensitive child?
This is mostly the temperament of the child I coach because this was me growing up!
Look at my drawing and see if you and your child can connect to it. Maybe they’d like to draw a picture of their own. It’s a beautiful way to express yourself.
I call these children Wildhearts
I wrote my book, Stuck Between Two Worlds for them. It follows the stories of 10 wonderful Wildhearts who are facing their own life struggle, but what they all have in common is that they feel different in some way – like they don’t belong.
Learning is a fun adventure – stay curious!
When they journey off to The Wilderness, under the nurturing guidance of Nettie, Queen of the Wildhearts, they find each other, the fun begins. They learn all sorts of self development tools (I learnt these on my healing journey and have translated them into fun and creative activities for children). They see life through a new lens. Over time, they start to realise that life as a wonderful Wildheart isn’t so bad after all.
If you are new to my work, the book is a great place to start. Or you can listen to me talk about each Wildheart and their struggle in this free episode of Truly Madly Smiley. Truly Madly Smiley is how I connect with Wildhearts all over the world, for soulful chats and life guidance that makes growing up easier.
“True belonging is when you can share your most authentic self with the world, and find preciousness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to BE who you are.” – Brene Brown.
Human connection is our brain’s default mode.
I understand how hard life is and how it is when you feel separate from the crowd, and desperately want to be included. It’s lonely and it sucks. Humans are build to connect with one another and without that connection, the world feels dark.
I don’t like labels – we are so much more than that!
As a general rule, labels tend to put children in boxes and those with negative connotations can damage their self-esteem.
Creating an identity for children that is validating
I want them to feel comfortable in their own skin. Being a Wildheart tells children that everything about them, which they try to hide or that makes them feel weird is the magic of who they are. We all have super powers and our own unique characters that we bring to the world, and that’s something to be really proud of.
The traits of a Wildheart (strong-willed sensitive child)
💛 They have a strong sense of justice and are easily angered if things seem unfair or out of alignment with their integrity.
💛 They get very upset if people don’t believe them or let them tell their side of the story (having a voice is important to them and they will probably go onto to use that voice later on in life)
💛 They value freedom and won’t be boxed in – they don’t want to conform but sometimes they struggle to find their tribe. Hence the wild.
💛 They are very sensitive to their environment and can pick up on other people’s feelings. You may have heard of the term HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) or Empath.
💛 They are passionate about what they believe is true and protectors of the people they love. They will often champion the underdog in their quest for fairness and equality. You’d want them on your team!
💛 They sometimes find the big wide world too harsh and are affected by the news, violent films or anything sad.
💛 They enjoy alone time to recharge and will often get lost in their own little world of books or creativity- somewhere they get to use their amazing imaginations.
💛 It’s very important that they can be their true selves – they hate inauthenticity and will not pretend or cover up.
💛 They have an excellent BS detector and will sniff out the truth at 10 paces. They value honesty greatly. They would rather know the truth even if it’s ugly. They often get into trouble for being a truth teller (because lots of people can’t handle the truth).
💛 They value alone time and get peopled out. They appreciate duvet days and quiet time to recharge their batteries.
💛They love nature and animals and will often find other children are drawn to them because their energy is big and strong.
💛 They are incredibly curious and will think and care deeply. They will ask lots of questions and be life long learners.
💛 They have busy brains that work quite quickly and they tend to live in their heads more than in their bodies.
💛 They are high energy and busy (sometimes mistaken for having ADD or ADHD). Read this article I found about this which is truly fascinating.
💛 They often have big meltdowns out of the blue (and seemingly for no apparent reason) but this is more about picking up on their environment and really deeply feeling that.
💛 They are fiercely loyal as a friend and will love you forever. They are kind and forgiving. They have high tolerance levels which means they can be taken advantage of by less kind-hearted souls but when they are done, they are done.
💛 They are more brave than they realise and because they like to be independent (no Mummy let me do it!) people often don’t realise how sensitive they are.
If this is you or your child: Welcome!
You have found a place where somebody gets it. They can be tricky to parent if you don’t know what they need. I believe the key is to have strong boundaries which are set with empathy so you don’t compromise who they are or crush their wild spirit. And definitely no isolation or punishment because that will make them more angry.
What else does your Wildheart child need?
You can read more about what they need in the second part of this blog post What does your strong-willed sensitive child need?