If you have a worried child, I’m sure you’re familiar with this situation. On Sunday my body was showing signs that some much needed self care was in order. My worries had cranked up so loudly in my head, I felt restless and uncomfortable.  Does your child get like this? It’s like they can  never seem to be at peace in their little bodies.
Yep. It’s rubbish right? So….. what did I do? What I’ve always done. I popped on a podcast and cooked.
I cooked a yummy chilli a la Nigella Lawson. As I chopped, stirred and listened, I felt the calm wash over me once again.

My worries never go away completely

My goal is not to silence them. I find the more I try to shrink it or ignore them, the louder they get. No. My goal is to be with my thoughts and listen. Sometimes my worries have important messages to give me. On this particular day, they wanted me to slow down and stop trying so hard. They wanted me to let go and let things happen as they are meant to –  without me trying to control the outcome.
If my worries tell me fibs, which they often do, then I give them another job to do. Cook and listen my friends. Cook and listen.
At The Energy Pod this week, we talked about how worries are liars and even though they’re trying to keep us safe, often we are not truly in danger. The children found it reassuring to know this. If your child doesn’t know this, show them this helpful video I made. We also noticed that our brains are creative and thirsty to learn new information.
I’ve already mentioned that worried children are looking for safety. There is real comfort for me in home cooked food. Home feels safe for most of us. What feels safe to you?
I feel inspired and energised listening to other people who tell me what I tell my clients over and over. Sometimes you don’t need tips and tricks, you just need to hear that you’re OK. That it’s all going to be all right in the end.  What or who inspires you?  Currently on my podcast playlist is  Adventures in Happiness, Hay House RadioHello Freedom, Highest Self Podcast and Brett Larkin’s Yoga Hacks.

Are you listening? Voice is the Future

The other day I was telling a client about my podcast Truly Madly Smiley. They had no idea what it was. That world is pretty new to lots of us, but I believe that audio is the future because you can learn so much whilst on the run. How many of you instruct Alexa to connect you to something a little soothing when you walk through the door?

Listening on the go: a huge time saver

I listen when I’m ironing, cooking my supper, when I’m in bed, when I’m walking by the river or around town. You can pop on a podcast in the car and instead of a bedtime story. Explaining it as an audio story that had episodes instead of chapters seemed to get my client’s approval.  In fact, they couldn’t wait to get off their coaching call and listen in. Urrrm hello I’m right here on your Facetime live!!!!
If you want to find out how I make my podcast, here’s a little behind the scenes for you.
Life is full of uncertainty and so instead of saying to our children, ‘Don’t worry it will be OK’. Surely it’s better to give them the tools and resources to find their own way with anxiety. It’s from feeling rubbish and sitting with their uncomfortable feelings that they will learn their biggest lessons.

You can’t make your feelings disappear

I notice in The Energy Pod, the children who struggle the most are the ones who are afraid of their feelings. Especially the ones which society deems as bad – anger, sadness and fear. Boys who find it unacceptable to openly cry and children who’ve been harshly punished for their anger push all their feelings deep down inside of them hoping they will disappear.
Feelings don’t work like that though. Here are 10 Must Read Insights from Children Who Talk About Their Feelings . Any feelings which are ignored, will find other ways to come out.  For example, angry children are often flooded with buried unprocessed feelings which just keep popping up. They are on the edge of a meltdown. They need an outlet. To be heard and understood.
When my brain is wired and my worries are on loop I need to cut the circuit short. I do this by interrupting them and giving them something else to think about. Sometimes I journal or go out for a walk. Nature is so healing and often overlooked. Does Your Child Have Nature Deficit Disorder? Other times, I do the cook and podcast thing. Whatever meets my needs at that time.

Your child’s brain needs another job to do!

Here are some helpful Smiley suggestions so your worried child uses their brain in a way that serves them instead of keeping them trapped in the endless cycle of worry.

1) Smiley Thought Cards

For those of you that have Smiley Thought Cards, you’ll know how powerful the magic is when you hold those beautiful cards in your hands. I do my cards every day whilst I’m waiting for my cup of tea to brew. To start off with the cards act as a visual cue and prompt, but over time they really are wired into your brain. 

Over time, I learnt all those beautiful words and phrases off by heart. It didn’t take them long to become part of my inner dialogue. I soaked them up like a sponge. This is what you want for your child. To recognise when the worry monster is in town and to flip the switch. You can learn how to do this in my free activity pack  here. 

2) Repetitive Listening

Do you remember as a child that you used to know the words to certain songs, movies and characters of TV programmes off by heart? I wonder how many times you had to watch them before you memorised them? Not showing off, (I probably watched waaaay too much TV), but I still know all the lines to… Muriel’s Wedding – – Perry, Mow the Lawn! Pretty Woman – – Big mistake, huge! Dumb and Dumber – – We got no food, we got no jobs… our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF! Classics! That’s how we learn best don’t we? Having fun, when we’re relaxed. And REPETITION. We must have watched those videos (yes kids we had VHS machines in those days) hundreds of times. We laughed, we cried, we pressed rewind and did it all over again.

Here are some more ways to infuse your child’s brain with positivity:

  • One of the downloads inside my Smiley Sweet Dreams Pack is 14 minutes of me reading through all the lovely positive messages on the Smiley Thought Cards. The other 5 downloads will help you feel more relaxed and like yourself again.

  • There are 22 replays of the Energy Pod for the whole family to get their happy on. Each 45-minute class is a boost of Smiley coaching and has simple and easy tools for tackling tricky feelings. You can choose from some of my favourites like worry, anger, mindfulness, respect, guilt and sadness.

  • Truly Madly Smiley is a listening jamboree (it’s actually a podcast but that sounds better) of validation, reassurance, honesty, humour and helpful tips all wrapped up in love and kindness. It’s essential to make growing up easier. It’s also a great way to introduce your child to coaching if they are resistant to it. Resistance is fear of the unknown so let them get to know me virtually and on their terms.

  • Happy in My Bubble is my personalised download service. I make personalised downloads from scratch using your child’s name and a script that is relevant to their particular struggle. I love writing these because each one is different. Your child gets to draw or complete a fun quiz. Then we can step inside your child’s amazing imagination and discover what is important for them and what they really need.

Repetition is like reliving. Repetition is key to learning.

It’s subtle and yet powerful when Smiley whispers in your child’s ear just as they’re drifting off to sleep! 
Repetitive listening works and the effects are long lasting. Everything your child hears that resonates with them becomes their inner voice.

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