I want to tell you a story!

When I was a little girl, I was really happy when I could have fun. I really liked to daydream and float off into my imagination where I felt free and safe. It was like diving into a big pool of magic where I could make up stories, games and plans, or wishes for the future. As I got older, life became more serious and super busy. I didn’t visit my big pool of magic as much. My brain and day was full of new things to remember and there was too many things to do. I couldn’t sleep at night, I was longing for the weekend or a day off so I could relax. I was very miserable and I wished I could switch off my busy brain. 

I want to tell you all about it!

Listen to me! Let me share!

This is the voice of my little girl who was so curious and so excited to share her discoveries with the world. She was a life- long-learner and a ferocious reader. She was enthusiastic and fun loving – nothing made her more happy than to light up her mind with wisdom and knowledge.

She was also a big chatterbox and she wanted to share her words with anybody who would listen (her love language was words). 

She thought it would be helpful to them because it was so helpful to her. Sadly, but understandably, not everybody wanted to listen and not everybody found her helpful. She felt so misunderstood.

And so, this was how…

this little girl came to learn the true power of words.

She was deep and wise. When she told the truth, all hell broke loose in her family. They didn’t want to hear what she had to say. They weren’t ready to face their own truths. Believing her truthful words were hurting others, she locked them away and learnt how to edit and everybody was happy. Except her …. This hurt the little girl very much because she wanted to tell the truth. Sometimes she found it too hard to stay quiet, because people got hurt or punished. Like a fizzy drink that was all shook up, they would often burst out and soak people without warning. Her words came out angry and confused because they had been suppressed for so long.

Words became thoughts and thoughts became beliefs.

Those beliefs shaped who she believed she was!

When she was older, this little girl continued on her curious path of adventure and discovery, and in therapy she learnt how words had created her thoughts which had created her beliefs. They had shaped her.

Other people’s words echoed loudly in her mind. Her brain got so busy that she wished she could turn it off. There was no space or time for her words anymore. She couldn’t sleep at night and her inner world which was once so magical became a place of fear and doom. Even worse, she couldn’t work out what was real and what wasn’t.

Some days she thought she knew and other days she doubted herself terribly and wondered what on earth was wrong with her. If her teacher said she was ‘good‘ then she must be. If her Dad told her she was ‘mad‘ then she must be. If her sister told her ‘ssssh‘ then she must be saying the wrong thing again.

How could she work out who she was when all the words she heard about herself were muddled up and confused?

Why was it okay for others to tell the truth and speak their words, but she couldn’t? You can read all about this bright bubbly little girl with a big heart in my book Stuck Between Two Worlds.

What was wrong with this little girl?

Was her brain too busy + her mouth too big?

No! Of course not. There was nothing wrong with this little girl. She was a very bright, observant sensitive soul who couldn’t stand to see injustice and deceit, and she thought by telling the truth (which her parents had always told her was the right thing to do), she was helping.

What was wrong though, was that she couldn’t be herself!

She was adapting to survive her environment. She was disowning and disconnecting from herself. She had lost touch with her inner world, her heart, her soul and that beautiful magic. She had tuned out from what felt good and right to her and was becoming what her parents needed her to be in order for them to feel comfortable, safe and good about themselves. She was ‘doing as she was told‘ – this is why I’m not a fan of authoritarian parents who breed obedient kids that have NO autonomy and a weak sense of self as adults.

Scrolling

Scrolling

Scrolling … for answers outside of you!

Now fast forward 40 odd years and this is what I see happening to children growing up in a virtual world. Their vulnerable and underdeveloped brains are being bombarded with words (messages and posts) that are shaping who they are. Their porous ego boundaries let it all in.

Sensitive and introverted children are particularly susceptible to taking words to heart. I wonder how many of them feel out of place or ‘wrong‘ for trying to fit in an extroverted online world – the very opposite of who they are.

The need for boundaries around online activity

Being mindful about the words we choose to feed our minds

Let’s also think about children with low self-esteem who follow the crowd and aren’t confident to stand up for themselves. They are only as good as their last conversations and easily put their needs aside to win favour or to be accepted. Now you can’t protect them from that but you can teach them how to connect to themselves daily, and also to have strong values, a moral compass and good mental / emotional boundaries.

Do you role model this in your family?

The power of words is stronger than people realise

Notice how language has evolved and we’re being asked to choose our words wisely. Have you seen the fascinating experiment by Masaru Emoto where the molecular structure of water changed by the kindness of words spoken to it each day? A bit like talking to your plants eh?! I also teach kids to notice the memories and meaning they attach to certain words and how that creates feelings in their bodies. Words like school, homework or even certain teacher’s names (!) can evoke strong feelings of fear, worry and dread. You can listen to me teach this in Episode 48 – The One with the Powerful Words

You can reframe words to have a more positive impact

I empower them to consciously choose different words, ones which lift them up and help them feel more confident. That’s what the Smiley Thought Cards are for – 40 positive uplifting messages to inspire, soothe and motivate.

What words are you feeding your brain?

As a highly sensitive, intuitive introvert, I have such a love-hate relationship with social media. I am still that little girl that longs to connect and share, but also gets so easily overwhelmed when online. I can literally hear the noise as I launch on the Instagram app. It can cause me great anxiety and fear. I still easily take on that energy which isn’t mine to take on.

Don’t get me wrong, as a Coach, this is a super power with huge benefits. I have spidey senses that pick up on what you can’t say, can’t see and are hiding. Often children will be shocked and ask me ‘How do you know that?!‘ when they haven’t talked to me about it before. I’ve learnt though to be more discerning about if I share this information with a client, and if I do, how can I present it in a way that will help them most. Or better still, how can I ask the right questions and lead that client down a path where they make this discovery for themselves?

The answers are inside of you!

This is because no matter what Instagram, YouTube or even your best friend thinks, it’s you who is the best advocate of you. Some parents find it disempowering, but I’m telling the truth! Your child knows what is right for them and even though it doesn’t sometimes match your agenda, beliefs, perception or wants, it’s your job to guide your child to go within and not be blown about by every breeze or follow the crowd.

If you control your children, you’re taking away their power (not consciously but probably because you’re anxious and afraid – so have a look at that!).

You have to be really comfortable in your own skin to let go!

Parents of Wildhearts (strong-willed sensitive children) will often complain that their children are disobedient or stubborn or bad. I happen to think those children have a strong sense of who they are and a power struggle ensues when a parent isn’t in control or when a parent feels ashamed or embarrassed that their child is going against the status quo.

That’s the parents’ boundary issue, and nothing to do with the child.  

The more connected I am, the more I listen to myself

The more I listen to myself, the more I trust myself to know what is right for me. What is my truth. I’ve even drawn a lovely picture to remind me of my truth in case I have a wobble (see below). Did you read about why ‘I am’ are The 2 Most Powerful Words All Mums Need to Know.

Pay attention to your inner Guru!

Turn down the volume on social media.

Unless those words inspire you + speak to your heart.

I’ve created a daily practice, so I don’t absorb every post or every comment when I go online. I happily take myself back to that inner world where I feel so safe and carefree. I do this in a structured and disciplined way, and with good boundaries and clarity, I confidently know what feels right for me. Every day I journal and pull cards. It’s like having a conversation with myself. It makes sense of what my busy brain is constantly trying to find answers to. It soothes me.

If you’re nosey like me, you can check out some of my journaling posts on Instagram. Instead of being reaction seeking (something outside of me), I intentionally post to stay connected to who I am (my truth inside of me). I want to inspire others to do the same. Watch this space because I’m in the process of putting together something for you all, so you can find your way with it too.

Say what is in your heart! 

Journaling Your Joy

As entertaining and as educational as it can be sometimes, you won’t find your joy online. I’m not rubbishing it because like everything, it has its place and when there is balance and healthy connection, it’s a fabulous way to make friends, laugh, share and feel inspired. I’ve built a business this way!

Creativity is how we bring ourselves to the world.

Who we are is our truth.

If addiction is the furthest point we are from our true selves, think about social media addiction.

You’re literally scrolling for connection but do you have connection with yourself first? No, you’re lonely but you can’t hear or see yourself in amongst all that noise! Then you get sucked into a big toxic puddle and lose yourself.

Social media is a habit that takes you away from yourself (and your kids).

Overtime, everybody else’s words start to become more important than your own.

You don’t even realise that you’re being slowly brainwashed!

Can You Prevent Addiction in Your Child? After a few weeks of soul searching, I can see a new idea forming for truth tellers or sensitive, intuitive, creative souls and it has so many possibilities. I am super excited about it. I can see a new way for us to all be ourselves without shame, regret or guilt.

Hopefully I can make it a ‘thing‘ before we all turn into zombies and totally lose all connection.  

Find your passion + your purpose!

That is the key to your JOY!

Your joy is unique to you. So you won’t find it scrolling on social media and neither will your kids. You can see how kids are descending into darkness because they don’t have much to guide them towards their joy. The joy that lies within. The more and more we disappear down that rabbit hole, the less likely we are to find it! In fact social media has been set up to keep us competing and comparing, so we go back ‘just one more time‘ for that dopamine hit (high) that we are craving.

Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul. ~ Wayne W. Dyer.  

Please share the love with those that need it most
Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial