I love my life, but I want more peace!
Another busy week in the world of Smiley. Whilst dashing to grab a sandwich on the run, I saw red and green sparkly Christmas cards and wrapping paper winking at me. As I queued at the checkout, thoughts of ‘Blimey, this year is flying by at a rate of knots’ flashed through my mind. Not surprising since that’s how I seem to go through life.
Rushing Rushing Rushing. Next Next Next!
Then I dashed to Superdrug for toiletries and was faced with more Christmas tat. Cheap make-up kits guaranteed to accelerate your child’s transition from innocence to tarty in a flash, and baskets of overpowering sickly smells to ‘relax and revive’.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for planning ahead. After all it’s my job to help people set goals and achieve them. However, having Christmas in your face in October brings me out in a rash. A panic of the stress, family traumas, the money. I could bang on about what Christmas means to me. It really isn’t about little baby Jesus. Let’s save that subject for another blog.
This is not living, it’s rushing to the finish line
So whilst driving to my meeting, eating my sandwich and checking my emails (multi-taskers R Us), I wondered if you can plan too far ahead in life? I wondered if you ever got to appreciate the now whilst merrily ticking things off your to do list and then rushing to complete the next one? I came to the conclusion that you cannot. I’m not living, merely rushing. Raising my blood pressure charging about, as I leave startled onlookers behind me in a puff of smoke. Chasing after the next thing on my list. Tick tick tick, the feeling of satisfaction as my pen swipes the page. It’s definitely not smugness, it’s satisfaction!
Just the here and now, not the then and what was
I suppose it’s the same as looking too far back in the past and holding onto memories that make you miserable. Why would you do that? If you were hungry would you go to the bin and dig out last night’s leftovers to nourish you? I think the time has come to stop doing that. Going over old stuff that is unchangeable; that has been and gone. It doesn’t have an impact on where I am today. Unless of course, I let it.
Getting to grips with the now
My week ended perfectly at this morning’s meditation class. Mariette Jansen’s soothing and mesmerising voice got me in that peaceful, ‘nothing can touch me’ space where I detached from all the rushing. Mariette told us to simply observe. Become a master of your thoughts and your emotions. I like that idea. Getting a grip on the now. Two hours of meditation whilst snuggled in a warm fleecy blanket to slow my breathing and relax was just what I needed. The girl who had spent all week fast-forwarding to the next thing, was taking time out to listen to the birds singing outside and finally be at peace. I could feel my body soften as I sunk further and further into the floor.
So I was thinking, next week, I’ll do it differently………………1-2-3- AND BREATHE!