On this week’s Dear Smiley a child wrote to me asking me about her tricky friend. I gave lots of tips (so you may wanna hop over to YouTube and watch the playback) I was talking about making sure that you are yourself. Of course you are, who else are you going to be? Well, let me explain. When you take photos to post on Instagram or Facebook, how often do you choose which pictures you share based on what other people will think? Take a look at this little gem! Obviously we post all our good bits – well except me because I’ve got braver at embracing my quirkiness. Anyway, most of us post our good sides and our best smiles which leaves me wondering how often you are hiding bits of yourself or your life or what makes you you.

What makes you weird is what makes you wonderful

Here’s something which may surprise you. Whenever I post something personal which is not about my business or my work online, I get the most likes and views. This is because people are generally nosey (!) and also because they want to connect with me. They want to know ME. Not somebody who I think I should be or somebody who is funny, super pretty or perfect. Just little old me. Granted,  Instagram may not be the safest place to be at your most vulnerable. I guess that depends if you are hooked on getting lots of followers and lots of likes or are you really socialising and hanging out with true friends. You know the ones who have your back and won’t mock you for looking like a red tomato. You can listen to me talk about how Instagram is a place where it’s easy to get bullied or picked on if you are quirky or different. It isn’t a place to be vulnerable unless you are supremely confident and don’t care what other people think of you. You know when I first started blogging and posting on social media (feel free to go back in time and have a look for yourself) you can see how awkward I was and how I didn’t want to be visible for who I am. I was afraid that people wouldn’t accept parts of me or they would judge me for me random beliefs and ways (more about those later).

I wonder what weird and wonderful parts of you that you are hiding?

Or I wonder if you are pretending to be somebody else in order to fit in? I wonder if you are hung up on the number of people following you? None of this represents who you are as a person. You are not defined by a bunch of social media numbers. You are waaaaay more special than that. I wish you knew that.

In a bid to make myself vulnerable and so that we can get to know each other better, I’m going to share 20 random facts about me. This way, if you are part of my tribe, I know at some point I will be able to help you or we may even meet up.

 

  1. I love Ant and Dec
  2. I eat Ketchup with things I probably am not meant to eat Ketchup with
  3. I talk to the angels every day and have regular energy healing
  4. I believe that all emotions are energy and if you are sensitive, you can catch other people’s moods
  5. Creativity is my super power and I love drawing, writing, reading, cooking and turning grown up life skills into fun activities for you to do
  6. I’m a introvert who is very happy in her own company and needs lots of time to regroup after being with people
  7. I am a huge fan of Murder She Wrote and when I was younger wanted to be a writer like Jessica Fletcher
  8. I love to dance and can proudly say my tap dancing *shuffle hop step* is still firmly committed to memory
  9. I wanted to work in Disney world when I was a little girl and it is still one of my favourite most magical places on earth
  10. I am a big hippy at heart and I’m not quite wearing tie dye clothes but I do love crystals, epsom salt baths and meditation
  11. I can play the piano and speak fluent French (maybe a tad rusty with it now – I worked there as an Au Pair in my late teens)
  12. I feel passionately about changing the way we support and treat children
  13. It saddens me that people in positions of power abuse their power (hurt people hurt people)
  14. Two of my favourite movies are ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ and ‘The Holiday’
  15. I am not a Mum but I suspect at some point in my life I will foster or adopt a child (or lots of children like the old woman who lived in a shoe)
  16. I am not married nor do I have a boyfriend. My TV husband is Phillip Schofield
  17. I don’t have any pets but I love horses, dogs and cats
  18. I’m a big bookworm and have recently had a large bookcase custom made for my living room so I can be surrounded by my books
  19. I like trash TV – TOWIE, Mummy Diaries, Made in Chelsea, Real Housewives of Cheshire and American sticoms
  20. I am afraid of the dark

Can you be your own best friend?

The key to getting comfortable with yourself, is to know your self. See if you can answer these questions and really think about who you are and what makes you tick.

  • Would you want to be friends with you?
  • What is it about yourself that you are proud of or that you like?
  • How do you think it feels to hang out with you?
  • What is your secret or guilty pleasure that makes you quirky, weird or different?
  • What stops you from sharing that with the world?

Can you find a way to be proud of your differences?

Instead of hiding your wonderful self or thinking ‘OMG I can’t share that’, can you be proud that you are different? Nobody is the same.

Besides, don’t you think there are better ways to spend your time other than obsessing about what other people think of you. Did you know that they are probably too busy worrying about what you think of them anyway?!

Judgement is such a horrible thing and I know that when you become kinder and more compassionate towards yourself, you will be less Judge McJudgerson about other people. Have a go and see how you get on!

 

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