Happy New Decade! 2020 is here.
Without sounding too old, do you remember in Friends all those funny flashbacks when we discover how they all met each other? Monica’s fatsuit. Rachel before her nose job. Chandler and Ross’s 80s mullet dos.
I went to FriendsFest this year with my sister and it was nostalgia on steroids.
Could we BEEEEEE any more excited?
When you look back over the last 10 years, how do you feel?
I feel a heady mixture of pride, confusion, achievement, joy and grief. The last 5 years were pretty tough to be fair, but as ever, I pushed on through. Sometimes it’s hard to find that balance between pushing on through and taking time out.
If you had your time again, would you do it differently?
Sometimes we forget we have choices and we can take the path of least resistance. Life is hard but we can make it easier on ourselves.
Lost of us have had to deal with toxic families or recover our broken spirits after toxic relationships. On top of that, many of you are still flying through the air on your parenting trapeze by the seat of your sparly gold pants.
Ta-da! How do you do it? Firstly, give yourself a pat on the back because parenting is the hardest job in the world, but with all that other toxic shiz goin on, it’s even harder. I hope you take some time to acknoweldge what a strong and amazing soul you are. And you’ve got style – not everybody can carry off those gold pants like you do…..or fly high and rise above these toxic types.
If you’ve found it hard, I want to share with you something that make it a litle easier.
1. My Tarot + Oracle Cards
Like a security blanket, they offer me cosy reassurance and encourage me to listen to myself instead of caving in to self-doubt. I used the words and images as journal prompts so I could get to know myself better. That’s why I made the Smiley Thought Cards for kids because being linked to their intuition is the only way for them to make decisions, set boundaries and do what is right for them. In toxic relationships we lose ourselves.
2. Self-Help Podcasts + Online Courses
I listen to many self-help and business podcasts, as well as being a member of many online communities with like-minded souls. I love to learn and when I’m plugged into that energy via my earbuds, I drown out the voice of my inner mean girl. This means I’m less likely to spiral into worry and negativity. I’m less critical of myself and more grateful for what I have. That’s why I connect to the kids through the Truly Madly Smiley Podcast helping them to feel positive and worry-free whenever they need to.
3. The Love +& Guidance of Good People
I saw a meme the other day which said something along the lines of ‘I don’t need therapy because I can have coffee with my friends!’ Wow! People are so misguided about what therapy is and why it will be invaluable to them.
Of course, I have adorable friends who love me, make me laugh and feel easy to be around. 2019 was the year I stopped putting energy into relationships which were bad for my emotional wellbeing (including family members and this blog post explains more The Elephant in The Room & Secrets + Lies & Toxic Relationships).
In addition to that, I also have an amazing therapist (who is trained in trauma and abuse). She also happens to be my supervisor for work. I appreciate her so much and am so grateful for all she has taught me. We do not go out for coffee because we are very clear about the boundaires of our relationship.
4. A Life Coach
Read all about how Leonie Dawson motivated me and kept me on track with my book writing this year. Stuck Between Two Worlds is a magical and heart-warming story told through the eyes of 10 year old strong-willed sensitive Ruby as she struggles to fit in and make sense of the world. It isn’t just for the kids – adults are loving it too and if you were a child who grew up feeling like the family scapegoat or the odd one out, it has some powerful life lessons to share with you.
5. Boundaries and Prioritising Self-Care
Learning to set boundaries and taking good care of yourself go hand in hand. I don’t know how I managed before. Well, I do! I didn’t know how to prioritise what was important to me because I lacked boundaries and was too busy focusing on what other people wanted or needed.
This year I made an epic trip to Canada, Boston, Cape Cod and New York to step right out of my comfort zone and away from work. You may have been following my adventures on Instagram.
Do you have any wishes or changes you want to make in 2020?
It’s quite common to feel overwhelmed and stressed about the thought of getting back into the old routine again if you’re not clear about where you’re heading and what you want.
Want to work out what you want?
Want some clarity and direction?
Want to feel motivated and raring to go?
Want to make lasting changes?