121 Coaching with Smiley
121 coaching is done over Skype or Facetime in conjunction with videos, audios and exercises to do between sessions. There is the option to have a 20 minute free taster so your child and I can meet each other and see if we are a good fit.
Each session is 50 minutes and all you need is a private space where your child won’t be interrupted and a good internet connection. During our time together, your child can:
- Ask me questions about anything which is troubling or upsetting
- Discuss the materials you’ve been given to do between sessions
- Provide a motivational boost to keep you on track
- Give insight and an alternative perspective on matters where you are too close or too emotionally involved to see the wood for the trees
- Help you work out where you might be holding yourself back and give you suggestions to move beyond your struggle
Simply choose a package from below and book and pay online. Ideally I like to work with your child for a minimum of 2 months so that they can internalise all the Smiley goodness. It takes time to learn something new and children learn best through repetition little and often.
We’re all getting Smiley for Life!
“There has been a significant difference in our son since he has been seeing you. He has confidence in his own abilities and he rarely uses rubbish to describe himself any more. He smiles more and they are proper smiles too. He still has the busyness in his head, but I feel that is easier for him to manage as he is happier in himself. He has loved his sessions with you. Thank you so much for your amazing work in making not just him but our whole family smiley!”Mel, Farnham
“Since doing the ‘No More Power Struggles’ pack, my relationship with my daughter has gone from strength to strength. I now invest time in myself as a person as well as real quality time with my child and the results are just fantastic. When people used to say about giving choices to a child I would be the person that would roll their eyes and think that’s too soft! Not true at all. I have a happier child, a happier me, a happier home and it works. It sooo works! I can’t thank you enough! ”Sarah, Oxford
Ready to Make a Change?
Learn important life skills, grow your family’s emotional intelligence and deepen that all important loving emotional connection with each other. This is often lost in the day to day busyness of life. It’s super important to remember you are on the same team and to make time for this stuff.
Your emotional and mental wellbeing needs taking care of just like your body or your home. Children who are raised in this way, grow up to be well-rounded, healthy happy adults.
Have some questions? Let me help you …
What is coaching and how is it different to therapy?
Can you coach children?
Children learn best when they are relaxed, being creative and are in a safe space to explore their thoughts and feelings. Coaching does just this.
It’s easier to coach children because they are more open to learning new ways of being, doing and seeing without all the limiting beliefs that perhaps some adults have. Having to unlearn the beliefs and ways of doing things that no longer serve us when we are adults can be a lot harder.
Starting at a young age means your child will have coaching tools that will last a life time. I wish there had been coaching when I was growing up!
My main area of expertise is emotional intelligence and you can watch this really informative video to find out why.
You can also download my quick and easy quiz ‘How Emotionally Intelligent is your family ?’ which will give you an idea of areas for improvement.
Are we ready for coaching?
I want you to get what you + your child need from coaching
Although it’s been said that I connect with children at another level and I do have an excellent track record (you can read about it on my website), I’m not a miracle worker and I like to keep it real. I know coaching works when all parties are working hard and are committed to making changes. This is why I need you to take stock and be honest before you begin. There is no magic bullet.
1. Are you & your child ready to change?
2. Are you & your child willing to be as open and honest as possible?
3. Do you & your child have time for coaching?
4. Are you & your child prepared to put in work outside of sessions?
5. Are you & your child open to doing things differently?
6. Are you & your child open to feedback (delivered with love and kindness of course!)?
7. Do you & your child have a clear goal that you want to achieve through coaching?
I believe coaching is for everybody. If you were able to answer ‘yes’ to all the questions at the start of this document, then I would say coaching is for you.
It is important that your child wants to come to coaching otherwise it will not work. A little resistance or fear of the unknown can be expected, however if they refuse point blank to come, it will be a waste of everybody’s time and money. You know your child better than anybody, so discuss with them before hand and gauge their reaction before making the commitment.
What happens in a coaching session?
Coaching works because Lisa believes that the child is resourceful enough to do anything and allows a child the time and space to figure it all out for themselves – MAGIC!
I make coaching for children seem like they are just enjoying some ‘me’ time talking about themselves . They usually think it’s a lot of fun as well as being a safe place to share their stuff. The first coaching session is about getting to know each other and discovering where coaching is required. I work from the child’s perspective. This helps set goals and work towards them. Coaching can be :
- story telling
- activity sheets
- role play
- using props or toys
- plain old fashioned talking
How many sessions do we need?
I don’t want clients to stay with me for longer than is necessary because the point of coaching is to empower the child to go it alone.
Coaching is delivered in packages weekly Skype or Facetime.
The average client usually stays with me for 3 months. Coaching is a process and, in isolation, one or two sessions is ineffective. The client can then chose to continue with a maintenance programme if required.
In my experience, what helps the coaching process is allowing and trusting. The energy and attitude you have towards your child’s ability to creatively problem solve and find a way that is right for them is essential. Rushing or pressuring your child before they are ready, will only add to any resistance.
How do I explain it to my child?
Present coaching to your child in positive light. Get their input and make sure you have their buy in. Coaching isn’t for problems. People don’t need fixing. Coaching is for getting the most out of life!
I find using positive analogies that your child can relate to work well. e.g. comparing me to a Sports Coach who is helping an athlete train for a marathon or a Football Coach who ensures a player is top of his game before a match. In this way, a Life Coach ensures you are the happiest in your daily life and can help you overcome anything that troubles you.
Naturally, your child will be more comfortable when they feel like they know me, so pop on over to my YouTube Channel where they can get to know me a little better.
If your child is unhappy, I would focus on how coaching could make him or her feel better. “This lady we are going to see can help you feel happier at school and help you cope with those people who are not being very kind to you or help you sleep at night so you are not tired.”
How do I get my child involved + engaged?
In all my years of coaching, I see how children engage based on your approach to coaching. If you are excited, enthusiastic and positive, then they will be on board. They may not approach it the way you would and that’s OK. Now this is the tricky bit: TRUST that everything they need to hear at the right time will be revealed to them (and to you!).
I don't think my child will like it or I'm worried they won't do it
Is this true or is this your fear? If it is: get out of your child’s way and let them discover that for themselves!!!
Sometimes parents say their child won’t like or won’t do something because of their own stuff and they haven’t even asked their child. Granted there will be some children who don’t like it, but give it a go and try. You won’t know unless you try! You may even be surprised how your child responds…lots of people often are!
Any resistance to coaching from you or your child is fear. You can use the taster session to allow your child to meet me and get an idea of what to expect.
I'm not good with technology and don't think this is for us
Doesn't my child need to be with you so you can help them?
The children are the ones who do the work. Not me! They are the ones who have the answers they need to take them beyond their struggle and my coaching programmes are simply brilliant at asking the right questions and leading them on that path. That is what coaching does. The courses are tried and tested and their content gives your child what they need to feel better. Check out the testimonials to see how people feel about working with me.
What happens if coaching doesn't work?
Coaching success lies in setting goals and finding ways to reach them. This can be anything from changing behaviour to tackling something new and different.
I’m confident that coaching will have a positive impact on your child and subsequently, the rest of the family so long as you take action. For this reason, if we agree that coaching is not working, then I will refer you appropriately or make recommendations.
Some clients continue for six months or more, because they enjoy the regular boost and learning more about themselves. I love it when clients are able to see results sooner than expected.
It may come as no great surprise that the more you put in, the more you get out of it.
How do measure coaching success?
Coaching is a process and not a magic wand. It requires commitment, open honest communication and effort from all parties (coach, coachee and parent).
Coaching is a way of identifying what is not working now and how a plan can be put in place with practical steps to get to where the child needs to be.
Children are very resourceful in a safe and positive environment and can work through their own challenges. This is done at the child’s pace and will depend very much on the child as to how long they stay in coaching for. There are many success stories about coaching has helped other families on my blog.
Coaching is measurable by progress. Children often hold onto their stuff and can hold off change until right near the end. We have to allow them to do it when the time is right for them. Some clients see changes during their programme, some at the end and some after.
I cannot ‘fix’ your child. This may seem like a strange thing to say but I want to manage your expectations. It’s important to convey my intention which is to help your child understand themselves, feel comfortable in their own skin, find coping strategies, strengthen your child’s resourcefulness and resilience to life.
Will I be privy to what is discussed in coaching?
What is discussed in the coaching sessions is between myself and the child unless the child is breaking the law or in danger. I do encourage the child to share as much as they are able to. Please don’t worry if your child is not very forthcoming and respect that they are processing. They may share when they are ready
There is an aftercare worksheet which is sent to parents after the first session which explains to parents how they can best support this process.
I do not communicate with parents via telephone as this inevitably turns into a coaching session for you. If coaching brings up uncomfortable feelings for you and you would like to explore your further, I will refer you appropriately. My priority is the child and my energy is better spent making sure they get what they need from coaching.
How do we book?
- Book a call or a bundle of calls and pay online.
- You will be given access to Smiley’s online diary so you can book in your session.
- You will be given details of how to Face time or Skype Smiley.
- Find a quiet space to listen in – you may want to wear ear buds so you can focus.
- After the call, you will be sent any additional follow up materials or resources.
How can parents support coaching?
Acknowledge your child’s perspective and empathise. Even if you can’t “do anything” about your child’s upsets, empathize. Just being understood helps humans let go of troubling emotions
Every child has a different response to coaching. Lots of us are resistant to change which may mean we cling on to old habits, start new ones and fall back to old ones or even feel lost without our old behaviour. Even when it doesn’t make us happy.
It’s hard as a loving and supportive parent to give your child space and allow them to be as they process and find their way (especially if they are teary or frustrated or anxious).
Listen and try not to judge. Gently encourage them and praise them for being brave if they are struggling. Let them know you believe in them to figure it out.
Resist your urge to rush in and fix. Try to be patient and trust the process. This is one of the hardest things for parents: letting go. When we get overly prescriptive and try to control the outcome, the magic is lost.