‘I really enjoyed challenging myself and my family – some were harder than others. Will go back and look at the days we didn’t do. Thank you for getting us to have new experiences and teaching us different ways of communicating. Much appreciated.’
My eBook ‘How to Rediscover the Magic of Parenting in a Busy World’ is like a 30-Day bootcamp that takes Mums gently by the hand, gives them a friendly kick up the bum (!) to get stuff done to lead them to pastures calmer!
Initially these very busy and overwhelmed Mums wanted to:
-
feel confident and reassured that they are doing it the ‘right‘ way,
-
learn step by step the easy way to get back in the driving seat,
-
refocus on what matters most and not get caught up in the daily grind.
Where did the eBook come from?
Back in 2014, before I wrote the eBook, I tested this simple coaching challenge for 30 days. It was well received with lots of encouraging feedback which I’d like to share with you. Many were surprised at how much it had opened their eyes to a different way of being with their children because it had such a positive impact.
This is how the eBook ‘How to Rediscover the Magic of Parenting in a Busy World’ was born.
The definition of insanity
‘Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ ~ Albert Einstein
Are you doing the same thing over and over with your children and expecting them to behave themselves?
That’s what I do: expect the other person to change. It doesn’t work. Why?
- What if the other person doesn’t have the resource to change or the motivation?
- What if they don’t know how?
- What if they are scared to change?
In order to do things differently we need to rewire our brains through repetition. We need to be clear about what it is we are going to do (our goal), commit to it and then make it happen.
Baby steps over and over again – consistent action is key
Inside my eBook, there is a different challenge each day to create positive new habits which strengthen the connection between you and your child. You have me on hand to make sure that you try a new habit each day.
Connection is the love that links us to our children
Before we started, I gave out my FREE download which explains what connection parenting is. It also tells you how to work out your child’s love language which is a simple premise to strengthen your connection.
Connection is something I was introduced to by Dr Laura Markham who echoes everything I believe to be true about nurturing children to reach their full potential.
Dr M is a Clinical Psychologist and Mum of 2 who believes in coaching and not controlling as a different parenting approach. Controlling comes from a place of fear and it really is a myth that you can control your children.
‘This has been such an eye opener and a whole new world of thinking for me. I’ve loved it! Being a parent is a job I massively underestimated but when you have all this information at your fingertips and presented in such a way it is so helpful, it keeps you feeling positive even on those really tough days. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!’
Let’s have a look at some more feedback from 2014
Go the Whole Day Without Shouting
One Mum asked the difference between yelling and raising your voice but still being in control. The feedback showed that what triggered yelling was tricky bedtimes, spilling Rice Krispies or when you felt like your child could be in danger.
Had a fab day today. Consciously tried no raised voices, converting don’t do’s and no’s into positives and had a brilliant 20 mins of in the moment imaginative play with my princess. Had to take a few moments beforehand to clear my head but really worked… even got a ‘I love playing with you mum’ at the end. Feeling blessed.’
Say Yes to Your Child as Often as You Can
‘The fewer “no’s”, the better your day goes!’ That’s a good one to remember.
Smiley Tip: Make your no a yes. ‘Mum, Can I have sweets?’ Yes you can have them at the weekend when we watch X Factor.’ The language we use makes such a difference to what others hear.
“I found that I wasn’t just saying yes all the time – I really liked the yes you can have next week or in the holiday. The girls didn’t question it afterwards either, whereas when you say no you’re having to still discuss it four or five times afterwards!”
Be totally in the moment with your child
‘Today we had a great chat reminiscing about our holiday over breakfast this morning…no screens, no interruptions, no trying to do other things and eating on the go. Just us…sitting, chatting and laughing. Lush!’
Grow independence – delegate chores!
Teach your child something you do for them that you know they could do for themselves.
I can remember helping around the house. We had little jobs to do like clear the table, take the milk bottles out, make our beds or put our washing away. We used to get pocket money for doing it. Nowadays children have less time to do household chores and I know lots of people who have cleaners. Nobody really likes doing housework but I love the feeling when it’s all done and order is restored to my home.
‘Such a good skill for all children to learn – even if it isn’t every day! Otherwise when do they learn?’
‘Letting them help me with chores and teaching things. I know the kids always love to help e.g. In the kitchen, but it’s hard to do. Things are done so much quicker with less mess when you do it yourself so giving time and time to learn is a big one for me.’
Little tweaks: Big Changes
Thank you to all the Mums who prioritised this very valuable work and put themselves out there. Consciously choosing to invest 10 or 20 minutes doing something different every day definitely made a difference. It :
- made them more aware of their behaviours and their child’s responses to their behaviours
- brought them closer to their children
- taught them and helped them discover new ways of being and new ways of approaching situations fun and interesting
- showed them how parenting can be fun and not such a daily grind (it can get like that sometimes as that is part of life)
‘We have created the hug of the day which works for all 3 children and the worry box is in full swing, I realised that all of them need time for their love language. I have taken a huge amount of knowledge from your posts so thank you. I’m also really trying to find my own strategies to find a happy balance with my emotions. Here’s to different parenting!’
Do you want to grow your family in this practical and easy way?
You can!
We live in a world where we worry about what other people think, but really we’re all struggling with the same stuff. None of us are perfect.
Imagine how much difference it would make if you could learn how to:
* understand your triggers and shout less
* set healthy boundaries (say no to your kids)
* feel more grateful and focus on the positive
* be less critical and more accepting (perfectionists I feel you!)
* listen to really hear and understand others (you’ll feel like they hear you more too)
* get in touch with healthy anger and what is really going on
* find another way to parent without punishments, threats, bribes or power struggles
* spend less time planning and worry and more time enjoying family life
* factor in more fun (yes you have to schedule it if you’re a control freak like me because sometimes spontaneity feels too wacky and unsafe!).
* manage screen time for your family
* help your children become more independent and feeling more confident
Prioritising these pockets of time for 30 days as you can see, is well worth it. The results speak for themselves.
