This week, I jumped online to talk about how negativity shows up in family life
In this video you will hear me talk about:
1:16 What I’ve been doing for 10 years to help with my negativity
2:42 Why more people tend to focus on negative feelings than positive ones
3:32 Why labelling feelings as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is dangerous and unhelpful
4:43 What we need to be teaching our children about feelings
5:17 How feelings are complex and often don’t show up in obvious ways one at a time
5:54 How resistant angry children are using the Energy Pod to access their more softer vulnerable feelings
7:03 Why positive feelings can sometimes be scary to experience
8:26 No feeling state is final; feelings are transient energy passing through our bodies
9:11 All feelings drive behaviour so we need to help children with their feelings first
10:52 What to do if you feel like you are failing your child when you can’t fix, pacify or make their struggle better
11:50 If you are making yourself responsible for your child’s feelings, what you can do to help yourself
12:10 How it’s unfair on your child if you make it that they only come to you in times of trouble
13:10 How fearful negative parents block their child’s (and their) opportunities to learn and grow
14:36 How The Energy Pod is designed to allow parent and child to learn together and strengthen their all important emotional connection (this is vital if you want your child to grow up feeling secure and happy)
16:30 How your way isn’t your child’s way and being able to let go of definitive outcomes or expectations
17:55 It takes a village to raise a child and how it’s vital that your child has other positive adult influences in their life
19:01 How we become like the 5 people we spend most of our time with so we need to protect our family energy
20:01 What children need every day from you
21:10 Why I worry about families who are soldiering on and not reaching out and asking for help (we are not at war and there are no medals for doing it all and being it all….just resentful, tired, stressed Mums. The casualties are children who grow up thinking they have to do it all and be all things to all people….they don’t either!).
Useful Links Mentioned in this Episode
Bag yourself a box of beautiful and magical Smiley Thought Cards and keep your brain in a positive space
Read my blog post Do you find it hard to let other people in?
Check out The Energy Pod to get a weekly workout for your family’s emotion and mental well being (you can also catch up and download previous classes here)
Watch Michelle’s video and see how letting other people in can work for your family too
Watch Brene Brown’s famous TED talk on vulnerability to understand more about why we can find those happy feelings tricky to be with
Other Smiley Helpers