I was recently asked to write this blog post for Busylizzy asking the all important question: ‘Can You Have It All?’. This struck me as totally absurd. Of course, you can have anything you want if you:
- Believe it to be true
- Know what you want
- Prioritise what is important to you
- Set goals and plan ahead
That’s what any good Life Coach will tell you. Let’s take each one and apply it to everyday life. I like to keep it real.
1. Believe it to be true
‘Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will.’ ~ Anonymous
Your thoughts are made of energy and this energy creates the intention behind your thoughts and beliefs. High vibrational energy thoughts would be along the lines of ‘I can do it!’ ‘Anything is possible!’ and low vibrational energy thoughts would be full of excuses, reasons not to and anything that induces guilt, shame or hopelessness. Look at the things you want to achieve and notice how they make your feel. What beliefs do you have about the possibility of achieving them?
2. Know what you want
In order to know what you want, you may need to do a bit of Smiley Soul Searching. I did that on Facebook recently and the response was phenomenal – over 1,000 people wanted to read that post. In fact this is why I’ve written this post as I figured it’s something you want to read about. I wrote:
SOUL SEARCHING: This week I’ve been looking back on 2014. Here are some of my discoveries:
My life has been transformed by:-
* spending time alone
* working hard
* reading and learning
* the Law of Attraction
* good friends
* self belief
* listening to my intuition
* being honest with myself (sometimes that was a bit ouch)
* living my life’s purpose
I let go of:-
* fixing people who don’t want to be fixed
* the idea of being a Mum
* the quest for finding Mr Parkes (!)
* other people’s opinions of me
* guilt and things I am not responsible for
* some relationships
* obsessive negative thinking
* my old life plan of what I should have at the age of 40
* my disappointments
* my imperfections
I learnt that:-
* business and pleasure do not mix
* I can only coach ‘coachable’ clients
* it’s Ok to ask for help and not see that as a weakness
* the coaching process is amazing and I can trust that process to be all that I and the client need at any given moment
I struggled with:-
* being permanently on call and switching off
* feeling unsupported and too controlling to hand over the reins
* being ripped off by a client / fake friend who lied about having paid me for coaching (£400 out of pocket)
* not taking time out for a holiday
I am grateful for:-
* realising my passion to help children feel gorgeous from the inside out.
* limitless support and love from friends, colleagues, family and Facebookers (that’s you again!)
What about you? Take some time out to answer those questions for yourself. Feel free to share here if you want to.
Love Smiley x
You can do this too by printing off this document below and being honest with yourself. Yes you have to be honest. Write it as if nobody is going to read it.
3. Prioritise what is important to you
Goals that are not aligned with values are never achieved. If you don’t know what your values are, then you need to get to know yourself better. Values are what are important to you. Notice the all important word there: you. If you are a Mum who is often last in linet then this little word is the missing link!
4. Set goals and plan ahead
I could write a whole post on how to set goals. There are different ways of doing it. I prefer to feel my way to goals. Where do I feel dissatisfied and how do I want to feel? Where I feel guilt, I want to feel carefree. Where I feel like I fall short, what do I need to do or think differently? How do you want to feel? All goals need to have a deadline and be realistic. I think a good barometer for this is if they are aligned with your values (see point above).
Once you are clear about where you are heading, you can start making plans. How are you going to get there? What steps are you going to take? I committed to dates in my diary and then shared those on Facebook too. Another 1,000 and something Facebookers wanted to read that post too. One lady even commented that she wanted to do the same 🙂 The highest form of flattery I do believe.
PLANNING FOR 2015: I’ve just scheduled into my diary:
* A Saturday off every quarter
* A month off from 1-2-1 coaching
* A holiday (whoop whoop)
* A retreat (yoga, juicing, walking, sleeping)
* A creative Tuesday once a month for me to do the things that make my heart sing – baking, cooking, painting, writing
* a weekly relaxing Epsom salts bath (I will wash for the other 6 days I promise)
I’ve also created new rules around:
* reading non work books at bedtime (I have about 10 books on my night stand which are all about children, parenting and famlies!)
* no phones / iPads in the bedroom and an hour before bedtime
* journalling emotions instead of eating on them
* leaving situations which make me feel uncomfortable
* not doing anything that isn’t aligned with my values
Do you know what your values are? What are you scheduling into your diary once a month? What are you going to do to change your daily routine so it works better for you and your family?
It’s easy to get pulled into what everybody else wants. What about what you want? Make time for yourself in 2015. It can be done if you plan it.
Love Smiley x
There is no change without action
Some of you may be good at keeping on track with your goals. As long as you are doing bit by bit. Making a difference every day. After a week, you will see a bigger difference. Others may want somebody to hold them accountable. That’s where I come in. You can get in touch if you want a Smiley nudge in the right direction. For the record, I am a gentle nudger who is more interested in what is holding you back and helping to ease you forward as opposed to throwing you in at the deep end and watching you find your way. That’s what life does sometimes if you are not careful. It keeps sending us the same lessons until we have learnt them. So if you are honest about this stuff and take control, you will be in the driving seat. Afterall, this is YOUR life.
Good luck and Happy New Year! May your 2015 be everything you wish for and more.
Love Smiley x