Lots of people are telling me they found my latest blog post helpful: You Think You Know What Coaching Is? Think Again.
People are scared of things they don’t understand
Maybe if I was to show you what coaching really was like, it wouldn’t be so scary. People are shocked that children love it, have fun learning, and are sad when it ends.
So let’s take the lid off and reveal it really can do.
We are born to make sense of things and understand the world around us
Often children associate learning with school and if they have had a bad experience, they switch off to learning and to creating. Coaching opens that curiosity and flexes the creative muscle. It gives accesses to their wild and wonderful imaginations.
Why do you call it “The Magic”?
There is a process which takes place within the secure and trusted rapport of Coach and Client relationship which you can’t see.
This is why I believe that parenting is not about control or punishment, but about the quality of the relationship you have with your child.
I call it ‘the magic’ because sometimes it really and truly does feel like it. Like all good Hogwarts’ pupils, I know that you don’t have to see it to believe it but I’m going to have a really good try at finding ways to show you that it is there.
The Magic is all around us and you will see it if you look hard enough. Let’s take a sneak peek behind the scenes.
✨Magical Moment #1 Beating the Bully
Maddie (age 12) came to coaching because she was too afraid to go to school. She was being badly bullied by a group of girls – who were once friends but were now leaving her out and being quite cruel. She had been betrayed and her trust broken. I asked Maddie what it was about coaching that made it possible to trust. She said:
‘At school they don’t seem to care. They don’t believe what I say and I get panicky. You listen and you are interested. I feel as if you believe me. You don’t tell me what to do. I love coming here – nobody knows I am here.’
The magic of feeling safe, being heard and being believed dissolves our hurty bits.
✨Magical Moment #2 The Power of Connection
Maddie would have 50 minutes with me at my coaching room one week and then I would give her some videos and worksheets to take home. The following week, we would catch up on Skype for 20 minutes. She would get excited about what was coming next and she would show up on Skype full of enthusiasm and ready for more.
‘Everything you’ve given has really helped and it’s easy. I didn’t know all this stuff before. It’s not hard is it? It’s making me see things differently.’
Then she would show me her drawings and talk me through her discoveries.
The magic of learning when we are relaxed, happy and safe is very very powerful.
✨Magical Moment #3 Trust in the Process
Maddie worked with me for 8 weeks and at our last session, she proudly told me: ‘I made a new friend today. I didn’t think I would.’ She was grinning from ear to ear.
I asked her to remember how she had first felt when she came to see me and asked her to dig out her Pre-Coaching Questionnaire.
‘What did you say you wanted to happen?’ I asked her.
‘To have my happy ending and I didn’t really believe that I would. I felt horrible.’ she admitted.
More smiles and astonishment at how strong Maddie truly is and how hard she has worked to make her way through the struggle.
The magic of trusting life, ourselves and the process of coaching. I didn’t know Maddie was going to be OK and all I could do was trust in her and the process. This has taken me years of practice – I’m a control freak and a typical fixer. As soon as I allowed her the space to work it all out, nature took over. Maddie trusted me and herself, she let people in again. When all else fails – let go and trust.
✨Magical Moment #4 Making Learning Relaxed + Fun
You can see how much fun my job is. The kids love it. I love it and that makes for some very special times and unique circumstances to be created . Once I ran a Confidence Workshop with Horses for the kids which was amazing and more recently, I took a tired Mummy on one of my VIP Spa Days. As well as her having treatments and having some time out, we talked a lot about her life and her family. She came away with a goodie bag and a plan so she could take the magic home with her.
The magic of coaching is exactly that: the kids don’t know that they are learning some pretty big and important life skills because they are having fun. It’s nothing like the learning they do at school and sparks their zest for life again. We are all life-long learners. We are here to learn.
✨Spooky Magical Moments
Some people may call these co-incidences but I think they are the Universe at work showing how we are all energetically connected to one another. The energy that we give to a problem or struggle is really important. So if you are projecting your fear or worries onto your child’s issues that energy will keep them stuck. Think about what energy will lift them up and help them to believe in themselves again.
Anyway, here are some spooky Smiley stories:
1) Once a little boy turned up to coaching with a picture he had drawn for me. It was very similar to the place I had visited the day before. What do you think?
2) A young girl once came to coaching and asked if she could draw me a picture. Of course! At the end of the session, as we were doing our Smiley Thought Cards, this one jumped out of the pack (we call that a flier). Our whole conversation during the session, was around how much safer she felt around animals instead of people. Now that’s magic!
3) Once a little boy would rush into my coaching room, take his sock off, shove his foot in my face and tell me to look! I was looking at his verrucas. ‘Are they bad?’ he would ask me troubled. I suggested he tried a crystal so he picked one that he liked and spent an entire coaching session with it balanced on the top of his foot. He came back after his holiday for his last session to show me that his verruca had disappeared. He couldn’t believe it but he had to. Mmm no picture required for that one, but here is a lovely picture of my crystals.
4) Blows me away when my creative and incredibly intuitive client draws a picture, we open a book and what they have drawn is illustrated inside. Spooky!
If reading this you definitely don’t want to work with me
That’s Ok. It might not be your time or I might not be the Coach for you. If I don’t think I am, I will always sign post families where I think they can get the best help.
If reading this you are still not sure
If reading this makes you want to work with me
I can imagine it might do, then have a look in my diary and book yourself a 20 minute Clarity Call so we can see if it would work for you and your child.