Autumn is here. Wakey wakey! – – It’s time for CHANGE. I like change. Do you? I like to let go of the OLD and welcome in the NEW.
How do you see change? As a scary unknown which creates anxiety or as an exciting adventure of endless possibilities?
When we’re scared we make up stories which feed into our fear and keep us stuck.
- What if it goes wrong?
- What if I don’t know what to do?
- What if it makes it worse?
- What if it isn’t what we need?
- What if they don’t like me?
- What if I don’t like it?
- What if it’s boring?
- What if I make a fool of myself?
- What if the sky falls on my head?!
I know you’re SCARED because you’re future thinking with all your ‘what ifs’. I also know your child is SCARED too because you frequently ask me: ‘How can I get my child to ….’
- sleep in their own bed?
- go to school?
- do their homework?
- listen to me?
- help me with chores?
….without drama (!)
Do you think you can control your child’s behaviour?
Notice how you see it as your job to convince your child. If it’s YOUR agenda, why should they? You both have different ideas of what is important. Notice how you give your power away when you make it about what your child is NOT doing, instead of looking at what you could be doing differently. Your child is afraid of change just like you, so you can learn to move beyond it together.
What if……it’s the best thing you ever did?
You won’t know unless you try and it’s about being motivated to try, being willing to try and believing that you are capable of doing it. If your child isn’t, at the very least you could be and lead the way by setting an example.
If you’ve never been to one of my workshops or listened to the podcast, how do you know?
You don’t. You have NO idea. And you certainly couldn’t predict how your child will feel. Unless that’s what you’re scared of??
- Not being in control of the outcome
- Not knowing what might happen
- Sitting in the icky feelings that will come up
- Having to let go and trust that it will all work out the way it’s meant to (it often does!)
SPOILER ALERT: You’re not in control of much apart from yourself!! It’s an illusion.
You know you’re just feeding your own worry monster and creating fear in your child? Resistance is FEAR. There it is again: fear of the unknown. When we don’t know, we make up stories …and that is such a bad habit. Teaching kids how to manage their thoughts and feelings is my job. I love to teach it because I didn’t grow up knowing it (I suffered with low self-esteem, anxiety and depression) and it’s not something you learn at school.
When you know how to manage your thoughts and feelings, you get really good at overcoming fear. You get braver and you start to strengthen that inner belief which feels more capable.
DON’T let fear hold you back.
Use fear as your teacher to succeed in life.
I’ve got some helpful suggestions (it’s ultimately your call) but the more information and facts you gather, the less likely your worries are to lie to you.
#1 Why don’t you virtually introduce me to your child? Listen to the Comfort Zone Series on the Truly Madly Smiley podcast. Not only will they get used to my voice by they will listen to 10 Courage Chats – 10-15 minute pep talks to help you and your child navigate the fearful, choppy waters of change. At the end of each chat you’ll be ONE step closer to understanding your thoughts and feelings. You’ll feel more in control. This way sustained growth is incremental and NOT scary at all.
#2 Below is a helpful script for helping your child move beyond fear.
#3 Watch this next video and see how you can easily get your child to do anything.