Do you feel stuck in your healing process? If you feel stuck, you can’t move, right? Wrong.
‘Sir, I’m stuck, can you help me?’ I asked my Maths teacher when I was just 8 years old. Numbers were never my strong suit.
Mr Griffiths and his sarcastic wit replied, ‘Get Up! Walk around the room! See! You’re not stuck are you?!’
Years later, I can see his point!
Sometimes the things keeping us stuck are not obvious to us.
This is because our conscious mind is limited. That’s why when we try to lose weight and we’re doing really well and then BAM! We blow it all on take-away and a bottle of wine. We convince ourselves, ‘I’ll start again on Monday.’ Our mind is sneaky. It puts up walls to protect us from change because change is hard and it’s really fricking scary! I tend to put on weight when I’m in survival mode and eating on my feelings. It’s a layer of protection around my vulnerability.
CHANGE = UNKNOWN = SCARY!
Feeling stuck, confused or overwhelmed was just another way of keeping myself safe, but it wastes so much time. I’ve stayed stuck in situations way longer than I needed to.
Maybe you can relate to some of these:
I stayed stuck in ANGER for years with my Mum so that I didn’t have to face the pain and deep grief of our irreparable relationship. It HURT ME to stay angry with her. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck in GUILT on a continuous loop when I couldn’t fix my family or make other people happy so I didn’t have to look at my unhappiness. It HURT ME to stay disconnected from myself in this way. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck in FRUSTRATION & DISAPPOINTMENT for years waiting for situations or other people to change so I didn’t have to do the work on myself. It HURT ME to put the key to my happiness in other people’s pockets. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck in a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP for years so I didn’t have to feel like the ‘bad guy’ for ending it. I was protecting myself from feeling lonely and from facing the deep sadness of saying goodbye. It HURT ME to stay in a place where I wasn’t seen, heard and was disrespected. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck as a SMOKER in a 20 a day habit for 30-odd years so I didn’t have to face my social anxiety and PTSD. My fags were like a security blanket and I didn’t leave home without them. It was KILLING ME. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck in CONFUSION saying ‘I don’t know’ to protect me from making the wrong decision or making a decision that would upset somebody else. It HURT ME not to take responsibility for my life and acknowledge my needs and wants. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck in DRAMA and CHAOS at eighteen to fail my A-Levels so I didn’t have to leave home and go to University. To be fair, it was all I ever knew and I thought I would be lost without my Mum (I was enmeshed and her emotional caretaker) and to leave felt like a threat to my nervous system and hers. It HURT ME more to stay. It didn’t heal or change anything.
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I stayed stuck in my Smiley role for 10 years so I didn’t have to lose my family. It was the role of fixer and parentified child that I made a career out of. Without my role, I didn’t know who I was. I had no pre-trauma identity. I also knew if I didn’t play ball, I would be rejected. There’s no place in a dysfunctional family unless you’re playing your role. It HURT ME financially and emotionally to stay in that role. I kept putting myself last to keep everybody else happy. It didn’t heal or change anything. (Side note: I didn’t lose my family. We lost each other because of unresolved generational trauma, denial and willful ignorance).
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So if you’re feeling stuck, I can help.
Let’s move beyond that as you walk with me.
You’ll feel much calmer in mother nature where you’ll connect back with yourself. I’ll show you how to locate the stuckness and help you move beyond it.
I wonder what is holding you back? You’ll be able to offload anything that is causing you pain, anxiety or concern. You don’t have to carry it around and you don’t have to do it alone. We will arrange where to meet beforehand, and afterwards, you’ll feel lighter, clearer and know what you need to do next.
I’ll start off by offering a couple of these sessions a week, so book your place now if you want in. If you’re not local, but would like to work with me, book this session and you’ll get the same results (minus the fresh air and movement).
And if you don’t, ask yourself….
What do I get from staying stuck in this situationship / dilemma? What are the negative consequences of staying stuck here?
If you live in Weybridge, keep an eye out for me walking and talking with my clients. We’ll be the ones grinning from ear to ear as we free ourselves from old sh1t that we don’t need anymore.
Oh and thanks to Mr Girffiths for his terrible Dad jokes and inspiration for this idea 😉 I think these Wellbeing Walk & Talks could be a thing.
If you’ve got any questions, let me know.
Until next time, stay wild and choose LOVE!
So much love to you,
Lisa x
