Here are some Smiley highlights if you’re short of time…

1:02 I think a lot of you have trauma and don’t realise that you do. Want to find out your trauma/stress response? Watch the parents training here.

1:26 So many children are avoiding feeling their feelings which tells me they are afraid to feel and be with their feelings. This blog post might help you with that.

1:55 Why it isn’t your feelings that are scary but the narrative (thoughts and stories) you attach to them, that give them meaning and power over you.

2:22 Are adults role modelling healthy emotional regulation or are they numbing out with cigarettes, alcohol, food or screens. If you are numbing out then you will like this blog post.

What are you: Victim, Survivor or Thriver?

3:14 This is the chart I am referring to during the video

Can you see yourself in that chart?

Notice where you are on the chart. This is a good indicator of where you’re at with your trauma. See if you’re ready to move beyond your trauma, by checking out the 3Rs which you’ll find later on in this blog.

“Nobody gains from blame!”

3:40 When you have a victim mentality you are prone to blaming. Find out how blaming takes away your power and technically you cannot ‘hurt somebody else’s feelings’.

4:53 Why you must not protect children from their feelings.

7:00 Why your child needs to feel their feelings

13:04 Part of healing is grieving the losses of what you didn’t get when you were traumatised (an adult who kept you safe and took care of your emotional needs).

15:40 What stopped me from healing more quickly was being stuck in denial. This was because I was avoiding all the grief which was attached to facing the truthful and painful reality of my childhood.

16:23 Do you know how you are really feeling? In this blog 10 Must Read Insights from Children Who Talk About Their Feelings I talk about how the story isn’t always the most important thing, but first and foremost how the story makes you feel. That’s the key to healing – feeling your feelings!

19:40 Are you knocking around with toxic people – you know that they are toxic but you make excuses for their behaviour and you know they treat you badly? You’re choosing to remain a victim, but you can change that if you want to. Read Why Does Your Child Settle for Friendships which Hurt them?

21:00 Can you ask for your needs to be met? You can’t do this unless you’re connected to your feelings. Do you expect others to take care of you?

Want to move beyond your trauma?

22:43 Here are my 3Rs to move beyond your trauma, if you feel like you’re ready

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE is required for you to accept the things you cannot change and are not in control of. Step out of denial and be honest with your good self. You deserve that much.
RECONNECT with your emotional self. You can do this by coming to The Energy Pod every week or buying some of the replays.
REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT Repetitive listening is so powerful and it’s how children learn. Fill your mind over and over with positive messages to rewire your thinking.

29:30 What is the one sign that you’re ready to face your trauma and start doing the work to heal?

34:48 I ask the question, how many of the children who are being statemented are actually traumatised. Is medicating them helpful? Does it teach them to move beyond their struggle? How does that prepare them for life? What is the root cause? How is it being tested?