I come from a family of low emotional intelligence and it’s cost me a fortune in money and time to put that right. Was your score on my Happiness Test high or low? Nowadays we’re well informed about children’s brain development and their emotional wellbeing, so there’s no excuse. We know that:

1. the root of addiction lies in childhood trauma
2. if we struggle emotionally or mentally, then it’s likely that history will repeat itself
3. it’s predominantly nurture and not nature as we once thought
4. if we came from a broken home, lost a parent, were raised by an addict or somebody with severe or undiagnosed mental health issues, we will carry trauma and left unattended, unconsciously pass it on to the next generation. 

What would it feel like if …

In 20 years time, you looked at your child and knew that you had given them the gift of freedom to be themselves? Just as they are! That’s what we all want really isn’t it? Would you feel proud, happy, or maybe even relieved that they hadn’t inherited your stuff? That you had broken the cycle! I would feel utterly triumphant. 

So you have to look at your story and what happened to you. You need self awareness and introspection to see how you might be unconsciously holding your child back.

It starts with us …

If we are showing our children that we are prepared to work on our stuff (yes we all have stuff, none of us are perfect), then they feel more accepted for the way they are. They have a long way to go in terms of catching up with us and sometimes we can’t tell them or teach them, they hear us when we show them. Be a positive role model for change!

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If you are not sure, why don’t you give it a go? You could take my Happiness Test which will also tell you the areas for improvement.

Signs that our emotional or mental wellbeing are suffering are:

• We are struggling to sleep or relax (we have busy brains that we can’t switch off)
• We feel overwhelmed or spend a lot of time worrying about things which are out of our control
• We have lost our appetite or are eating a lot of sugar
• We are reliant on caffeine to make it through the day or we are reliant on alcohol to destress and wind down
• We have become a shouty house or are often on the brink of emotional meltdowns
• We live with  ADHD, ADD, Autism or SPD which means we find it hard to regulate our feelings
• We have been bullied and have lost our way
• We feel resentful, cranky and overstretched (we find it hard to say no)
• We are impatient and expect others to change so that we feel ok
• We have low self esteem or lack confidence in our ability (self doubt looms and we are seeking validation)
• We are easily triggered by other people’s words or behaviour and can get easily angered or upset

So how do we know the state of our emotional and mental health? We don’t and lots of us don’t do daily practices (or habits or rituals) which help our mental and emotional health. Read this blog post for 10 Obvious Signs of A Stressed Child that Parents Often Ignore. So what happens is, we leave it until it manifests in maladaptive behaviour before we take action.

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Not listening, not going to bed, not wanting to co-operate or any behaviour you are seeing which you don’t like is driven by feelings.

Your child feels something that is making them behave that way. What could it be?

This is why I think understanding feelings first instead of trying to stop or change behaviour is a better use of our time and energy. Besides we are not in control of our child or anybody else apart from ourselves.

When we feel better we do better. Right?

I believe parenting is a relationship and not a technique, so check out my blog if you want to be sure your child grows up feeling loved and secure with good self esteem.

The Energy Pod …

• takes you from the chaos of everyday life to more moments of calm.
• strengthens your emotional resilience so you can cope when life goes a bit wonky
• allows you to tap into my expertise and pick my brains
• teaches you how to be your child’s Emotion Coach (I show you how!)
• enables you to connect with your child in a way that maybe you wouldn’t normally and with powerful results
• brings your family together and gives you a shared goal (you’re all on the same side remember!)
• is a safe, fun and transformational space for you and your family to regroup, take time out, share, observe, learn and emotionally connect with each other in a positive way
• is a place to shake up (motivate and energise) or shake down (relax and wind down) your energy
• is a place to slow down and learn the art of being which is vital for healthy mind, body and soul.

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Check out the video at the top of the page for a sneaky peek!

Just as you would work out your body and nourish with healthy foods and water, The Energy Pod is a unique opportunity for you to step out of your busy life and focus on your emotional wellbeing. It’s a fusion of music, fun, yoga, meditation, games, challenges and other Smiley coaching stuff which takes place every week. There is a recording too if you prefer to watch and learn at your own pace.

Each class is for 45 minutes and can include any or all of the following:

• a little drawing (bring your pens and journals)
• simple and effective coaching activities (like relaxation, NLP techniques, guided visualisation, reflective quesitons, yoga poses, Smiley Thought Cards)
• fun learning about your emotions, your body and your mind
• helpful life skills like goal setting, organisation, communication, conflict resolution, confidence hacks, assertiveness etc)
• an opportunity for parents and children to ask me anything they like

Each week we will choose the energy of a different feeling to work with. You can see all the ones we have done so far here.

PLEASE NOTE: it’s not just about picking the negative ones you want to work on, but also picking the positive ones so you know how to create those feelings when you need to. If you struggle with one emotion, it’s possible that you are going to be struggling with other too.

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I think children age 5 upwards could do this but if you are doing it and enjoying it, they will follow your lead. I can remember working out to Jane Fonda with my Mum when I was little. I so wanted to be with my Mum and grown up like her. Of course and my Mum was happy when she was practising good self care and role modelling it to me. If you are a parent of little ones, then you could come to this class and learn these strategies and exercises and find your own way to introduce them to your child.  Children won’t know how old the other children are at the class because they will be in their own bubble at home enjoying their experience and they will hear what is relevant and necessary for them. The workout with be engaging enough to hold their attention.

Smiley coaching is truly ageless because all adults have an inner child. You will learn through your children which is powerful. We have children aged 5 up to age 15 in class as well as the Mums who are getting involved.

Another valid point about age: I take the Montessori approach to children of different ages learning from each other. Often our fears that something maybe unsuitable, babyish, too grown up or not appropriate for our child can simply be our fears. Parents will often tell me that my branding is aimed at very young children and yes, it’s true: my branding is rainbows and primary colours. However, the reality is that adults could enjoy and benefit from Smiley coaching and often do.

Parents are learning through their children. When we get caught up in how things look or seem, we are making a judgement and reflecting what is going on for us. Judgement is fear. That said, obviously you know your child, but be mindful of this. Let them come along and don’t have an opinion on it, see how they find it. Let them discover for  themselves.

• Book your class online. Each week we will follow a similar format (so children learn through repetition and it’s easy for you to replicate at home) but we will also follow a theme. Sometimes if the children get involved I follow their lead and go off piste! It’s about the energy of the group and what is right for you. 
• Prior to the class you will be sent a link so you can join a closed Facebook Group where the class takes place.
• Please make sure you have a Facebook account or know somebody who will let you use their account.
• After the class, you will be sent any follow up materials, downloads and bonuses.

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• Mondays at 5pm and 6pm
• Wednesday at 6.30pm

Each workout is recorded for 45 minutes so if you book and you can’t come, then you will be emailed a link to the playback. You can buy replays and worksheets from previous classes here. The result you get from a replay is just as powerful.

Where do they take place?

From the comfort of your own home, you click on a link and enter a closed Facebook Group where you can access the class. You can watch it on a tablet, your phone, a laptop or even stream it through your TV. This is a one way broadcast where you cannot be seen or heard. You can interact with the class by typing into the chat roll. They get very excited about this. It’s like riding shotgun in the front seat of the car 😍

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Each 45 minute class is £15 per family pay as you go

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Save £10 with a Bundle of 4 classes for £50

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You are very safe with me. I know how to take care of you and your child online so that they feel safe and secure. Your child will feel safe because they are in the comfort of their own home and they will follow your lead. So it helps if you can be confident and comfortable with it all.

• The Energy Pod is held using in a closed Facebook Group.
• I have to press a button to give you access to the Facebook Group (you won’t get in unless I know who you are).
• People can choose to actively participate by typing into the chat roll or not.
• I do not share your email address or personal details with anybody.

You are safe in the closed Facebook Group and any comments you type will appear in your news feed (because you are a member of the group but they will NOT be seen by your Facebook friends and family). Members of the group will also see your comment and you will see their comments.

You can also check out the GROUP GUIDELINES here to get a full understand of the boundaries and using Facebook as a framework for Group Coaching.

Each class is recorded and posted here for people to buy afterwards.

I think the replay is just as powerful and you can hear me talk about why it’s like watching Jamie teach you to cook Meatballs on Fifteen Minute Meals here. It”s that simple!

It’s also worth thinking about our different learning styles too. One Mum identified that even though her child have two very different approaches, they both get what they need. Children do know what they need and often we underestimate that.

“Thank you for this week’s class. It was great. My two really enjoyed it. They both have very different approaches which seems to work for them. My 8 year old son wants to do it separately on the replay link. Whereas, my daughter is very outgoing and wears her heart on her sleeve. She prefers the live class with you. My son likes to do it on his own with his headphones on. He wrote pages on the negativity class. I was gobsmacked as he often keeps his feelings to himself and it sparked a conversation with a difficulty he is having in the classroom.”

Often called The Smiley Coach, Lisa Parkes is a qualified and experienced Life Coach who works with children aged 7 up. Lisa gives them life skills and practical coping strategies for life’s hiccups.

 

She has helped hundreds of strong-willed sensitive children (Wild Hearts) become self aware and develop a positive outlook on life; beating their fears, worries and stresses about homework, exams, friendship struggles, bullying, nerves and anxiety to name but a few. Lisa is passionate about helping children feel great from the inside out.

Smiley coaching helps children develop self belief, positive thinking and most of all: discover their own way without judgement in a safe and trusted environment. Lisa is also the creator of Smiley Thought Cards; positive affirmations which encourage emotional intelligence and connect families with love.

I totally understand and here are some pointers which might help you feel more comfortable about that. Ultimately, it is your choice and if you are still worried, then maybe an online learning pack for you to do in the privacy of your own home or  Private Coaching will be better for you. 

• The class is a one way broadcast so we cannot see or hear you or your child 
• Sometimes there is nothing for you to share or do…just being there is enough
• You can choose to participate as much or as little as you wish (you could watch the replay and then you don’t have to be involved in the live part)
• The Facebook Group is a closed book so it will appear in your news feed because you are a member, but it is not visible to your friends and family (only other people taking the class)
• The class is set up so that sensitive issues can be dealt with kindness and love
• Make sure this is not about your shame or your fear that is blocking you from coming. I would recommend reading this blog post to help you with that. Shame is often the voice which makes us wrong and as humans we often are wrong and imperfect. It is safe for you to be that way in life and at this class (just saying…!)

“We have all the Smiley Thought Cards, downloads and have watched the videos but we only use them when things reach crisis point.”

 

We all know that eating our five a day and cleaning our teeth is part of taking care of our physical health. We know that if we don’t drink enough water, we become thirsty and sometimes dehydrated. We visit the Doctors when we get sick but in the meantime, we take care of our bodies and limit things which we know aren’t good for us like sugar, alcohol and refined foods.

Prevention is better than cure … Don’t leave it until it’s too late!

In my job, lots of people bring their children to coaching when they have reached fever pitch: too angry, too out of control, not sleeping, too worried, too stressed and then they want me to ‘fix’ it. I don’t fix children because we are all broken but what I do wish more than anything is that we would give our children the tools to deal with their emotions.

This class requires you to have a Facebook Account. If you don’t have one, then I would purchase a download of the replay. These are sent out as YouTube links for you to watch on your laptop or device.

I may introduce other class days and times so make sure you are signed up to the newsletter to stay in touch. The classes will be recorded. So you could book yourself in and get a copy of the recording. The advantage of coming to the live class is that you are able to ask me questions and get involved. Being in the energy of the group is powerful. Think of chicken wings marinating for a BBQ 😉

You can catch up with all the replays here!

If it’s your first time working with me, I understand. Think about it like watching a TV programme with some fun activities to draw or write or questions to answer. Like a quiz show or watching Mr Motivator (do you remember him?!) on the TV doing an exercise class. Or if your child is a bit older it’s like watching YouTube or make the comparison with something else they enjoy doing online. If you are comfortable about doing it, then they will be too. It may take a few classes for them to get into their groove but like anything new there is no pressure and no rush. Everybody works to the beat of their own drum. 

This is normal we expect them to be when it’s something new. They will take your lead so if you are confident and feeling excited about the class, they will be too. Children will relish this special moment to be close and hang out with you. Especially when we are doing relaxation exercises, you can pull them close and snuggle. I don’t know any child who doesn’t want to do that! What usually happens is you get so lost in the moment having fun that the time flies by and you don’t want it to end. There is no room for boredom in a Smiley live class.

Watch this video as it will help your child to feel as if they know me already. Anxious children are looking for safety so give them age appropriate information and get them excited about coming. 

Or you can click here to let your child listen in to how other children feel about coming to class!

It’s quite common during the class that feelings will come out (sometimes unexpectedly) and this is good. The class is allowing a safe space for your child to empty their emotional back pack. This can feel stressful for some parents but it is a sign that there is some work for you to do here too. When you are triggered by your child’s big feelings, it indicates that you are uncomfortable with those feelings and you might want to explore why.

Please do not allow this fear to stop you from coming to class – what you resist persists so it is likely to happen eventually.

Of course I am on hand during and after the class if your child does have a huge meltdown. Sometimes, it’s good to let it all play out and allow your child to express those feelings and come out the other side. In your loving presence, this is how emotional resilience is strengthened in your child.

I would try and come as often as you are able to, or at least for 8-10 sessions so you and your child are able to create positive habits. It’s through repetition and taking action that the tools you learn become habits. Think of going to the gym, you don’t just go once and forget about it. You go regularly and build up your strength, endurance, speed and technique.

Each week we will choose the energy of a different feeling to work with. So it’s not just about picking the negative ones you want to work on, but also picking the positive ones so you know how to create those feelings too when you need to. I think it’s more than learning the tools, it’s about community, connection, validation, kindness, fun and so much more.

You don’t have to be a wizard with tech stuff. Besides maybe your children will intuitively know what to do. They seem to know way more than I do these days – I must be getting old. Like anything new, the first time you do it, may take some getting used to. Sometimes our fear of things new makes us think we can’t do it, but when we start rocking out something new, we feel good for mastering it and it’s never as tricky as we think it is. If you are really worried: get in touch and I will help you.

I hope to make time to take questions from you and your child about anything which is bothering them. In a group scenario I can’t always give individual feedback but I will try to. I am doing these live classes so that I can reach and support more people.

If you have a specific issue which you would like to discuss with me please email me.  

Yes of course! The more the merrier. You could also be helping somebody else’s family.

 

You can send your friend the link to sign up. Just cut and paste it into a text or an email. www.smileyforlife.com/energypod  

I base my coaching on my Life Coaching Diploma, Child Coaching Diploma and my direct and vast 10 year experience of working with adolescents and children. I draw from my observations and insights as to which techniques and actions have created the most success. I am NOT a medical professional or licensed psychologist. For issues with medical or psychological gravitas, my input is to be considered just that: input. I am not liable for the actions, behaviours, mental or emotional states of my clients (even though I do care about clients and want the best for them, I prefer to refer clients to a qualified alternative professional who is more suited to their needs). Every effort has been made to accurately represent the power of coaching and its potential. However, each individual’s success depends on his or her honesty, dedication, desire and motivation.