I need your help. I’m really puzzled by something and as you are the grown up, I wondered if you could help me. You are really good at sorting everything out, so I thought you were the best person to ask.
I’m looking at my Christmas list and it’s super long. Mostly because everybody else is getting loads of new stuff and I don’t want to feel left out. They talk about it all the time at school and we watch the adverts on the telly and it makes me want it all. It’s such a horrible feeling being left out. So, don’t tell me that I’m greedy, but help me to see that enough is enough. Actually that I am enough. If I knew that I was I wouldn’t have to have all this stuff to make me feel good. I’m a kid. You need to tell me where my limits are. That makes me feel safe and I know what is and isn’t OK.
Although, surely there is an easier way to feeling good? Do you honestly enjoy getting ready for Christmas?
I see you get so stressed. You are literally muttering ‘Fa la la la la Off!’ under your breath to anybody who isn’t following the master plan. You know that one you have stuck to the fridge. I actually unclench my bum cheeks a little bit when I see you tick something off, and your frowny face turns into a smile. Nobody asks you to do all the things you do but you do it. You do it because Grandma never gave you the Christmas you wanted. You try and make it extra special for us.
You want it to be perfect but I’m not too fussed because that perfection comes at too high a price.
Here’s the thing (and I’m going to be brutally honest with you Mummy – I know you like it when I tell the truth), nobody wants you to cook for 20 people if you don’t enjoy it. Nobody wants you to deck the halls until you scream. I hate it when you scream because you know, I’m not allowed to so it feels really unfair that you are. Why don’t we all just get a take away and do it differently this year? I hate brussels anyway and mince pies are disgusting even when you smother them in custard. I just want to sit and eat all the Celebrations….I do when nobody is looking 😉 And while I’m on that subject, I want to sit around in my pyjamas. I don’t want to be trussed up like a turkey in a shirt. The collar on my school uniform chokes me anyway. I know when everybody has gone home, you kick off your heels and put your fat pants on. Why do you call them that? You said that it’s mean to say somebody is fat………except for Santa because he needs a big belly to fit all those mince pies in.
This is turning into a huge confession because I have to admit that eventually I get bored of those toys and when that sparkly excitement of Christmas wears off, everything goes back to normal. I still get stressed about homework, you get more shouty because ‘nobody is listening to you’. I mean, even the presents we bought you don’t make you happy. In fact, you just moan about the mess and that there’s no room to swing a cat in this house. We don’t have a cat Mummy. We have a guinea pig and I really wouldn’t want you to try any swinging with him. We are not allowed a cat or a dog because you would be the only person to feed it. It makes me sad that you don’t trust me to remember. I’m human. I forget sometimes. You know like you do.
So Mummy, what can we buy this year that will make our souls happy? (Click here to read Smiley’s Top 10 Christmas Presents). This is going to be quite tricky as I think we all have different happiness makers. I don’t know what makes you happy. I love to be with you – whether we are snuggled up chatting or playing together. I love it when you forget about all the boring grown up jobs and just spend your time with me. I know you can’t all the time, but if all the making it perfect stuff didn’t take so long, we could have more time together this Christmas. We could have more fun. When we have fun, I feel close to you. My heart feels full and glowing.
I want our family to be full of happy feelings, because I’ve realised Mummy that even though they give me pleasure for a while ( a bit like when you drink wine or Daddy brings you chocolate home from the petrol station), they don’t make my heart feel full and glowing. My heart wants that. I know that fun and memories made with you and Daddy make me feel like nothing else. It’s not the same when we are all arguing over whose turn it is to go on the XBox, we can’t connect when we are all on our screens and there is no fun when we have to go to ridiculous lengths of stress just to have this kind of Christmas.
And do we need it? Nope we don’t. We think we do because all over social media, picture perfect Christmases stare us in the face and make us feel like we aren’t good enough. Instagram and Facebook pages that make your friends go ‘ooh’ and ‘aaaah’ or commend you on your efforts, don’t really reflect what is truly going on. On the inside it sucks because there is no meaning when this kind of fun is so stressful.
Please Mummy can we celebrate this Christmas making sure that amongst the tinsel and presents, you help our family find something which will give it all true meaning. Something which will stand the test of time and light up our hearts so they feel full and glowing. If we could unwrap that every day, I would be happier than you could ever imagine.
PS Here are Smiley’s Top 10 Christmas Presents which will bring you what you really need this Christmas time!