In the last few months, I’ve come to truly understand that holding on takes more effort than letting go.I tell the kids about this in episode #19 of the podcast.
As Lizzo sings: ‘The juice ain’t worth the squeeze!’
Or should that be Ariana singing: ‘Thank you Next!’ 😆
Do you ever feel like giving up?
I don’t give up easily.
For 40 years I tried to be a good fit for my family. It felt one sided.
For 20 years I smoked like a chimney. It felt rebellious.
For 10 years I helped hundreds of children feel better about themselves. I’ll tell you how that feels in a bit….
Every day I fight my inner critic, anxiety and depression. It feels bigger than me.
I’m so good at holding on!
What about letting go?
Being strong-willed and tenacious as a child is what made me a survivor. BUT as an adult, I’m not entirely sure it serves me so well.
I’m also strong willed BUT sensitive (a Wildheart), I feel everything that is going on around me. I absorb it all. Over time, it catches up with me and floors me. This is why I’m still working hard to learn the importance of boundaries and good self care.
I tell the kids I coach: ‘Don’t give up, just have a little rest and try again!’
And yet I’ve threatened to give up this job more times than I want to admit to you. My Mum used to say: ‘I’m changing my name from Mum! I’m running away.’ Do you feel like that? You need a day off.
Many people write to me and ask me how I created Smiley for Life and how can they become a Child Coach. I seriously wouldn’t recommend it. It’s heart work. It’s not easy. Especially when my childhood trauma bubbles away in the background.
I didn’t choose it, it chose me.
It’s the hardest work I’ve done and yet, the most fulfilling.
Like I imagine being a Mum is for you. Being a Mum still means you’re human. We forget sometimes don’t we?
It’s emotionally intense and often sad. It’s raw, messy and it’s painful.
It’s frustrating. Parents can (unintentionally) sabotage and undo all the good work.
It’s triggering and it’s tiring. It can be lonely.
Sometimes I feel unprepared and unsure of myself. That’s scary!
I doubt myself. I lack confidence in my ability and I find it hard to trust the process.
It’s fun and yes! It can be amazing to spend time with innocence and the magical energy of small folk. I know I’m lucky to do that. They’ve taught me so much.
Are you a life long learner?
I love online learning. That’s why I created the Online Learning Den for families like yours. It’s packed full of awesome courses to make family life easier.
When I learn something new, I can’t wait to share it with everybody.
I get excited and passionate knowing how it has made a difference to my life. I’m often left puzzled when other people don’t get the same buzz. Ignorance may be bliss but learning means you get to experience the full colour of life.
Do you want to re-write your Mum job description?
We’re human beings. Not human doings. We forget that often. Well I do. And if that’s you, then you might like to dive into my Mum’s mini training ‘Be the Mum You Want to Be!’ which will help you work out and prioritise what is important to you. So you can style out your Mum self in the way that works for you and for your child. >>Click here to download this pack.
A Smiley reminder to be and not to constantly do
Below is an excerpt from a recent morning journaling session which is a reminder for us all to be and not do…..or do more of what lights us up.