Are you a believer? I’m proud to say that I am. I believe in angels and unicorns.  I can’t always see the magic of life but I believe it is there.
I believe people are mostly good. After all what you focus your attention on grows bigger. So if you are thinking everybody is untrustworthy or bad, then you will see more of those types of people showing up in your life.
I believe in the power of your thoughts and that the Universe sends you what it thinks you need.
On a side note, but totally relevant: I’m also a Belieber. That’s a Justin Bieber fan to those of you who are new to this word. I discovered him quite by accident watching James Corden’s Car Pool Karaoke online. Guaranteed to raise a smile.
Anyway I digress. I hope you are a believer because I think this quality is essential in life and there are so many times that parenting calls upon you to be one.

How easy is it to trust?

Think about how much trust we need to place in situations, in ourselves, in the Universe, in our families and in our children every day. For a Control Freak like me (recovering Control Freak actually) this is not an easy thing to do. Life is littered with uncertainty and uncertainty that we cannot make certain no matter how hard we try. If we feel the need to control situations to stay safe, then we will waste a lot of our valuable energy. Quite frankly, is that living? Probably closer to merely existing.

What is a believer?

I think a Believer has faith in things that cannot be seen. A believer has certain qualities and and ways of being that can hold the magic in life. Believers are:-

  • Allow – they surrender to what will be and go with the flow
  • Reflective – they don’t always think they have to take action when faced with a problem
  • Trusting – they have faith in situations which feel out of their comfort zone
  • Courageous – they don’t have all the answers but they know they can find a way
  • Kind – they don’t have to be right, they would rather be kind
  • Positive  – they make sense of life’s experiences in a meaningful way that helps them grow
  • See the Good – instead of criticising or focusing on what they struggle with
  • Resilient  – they bounce back from life’s challenges quickly and don’t give up because they know that something good or better is on its way
  • Resourceful – they are not afraid to ask for help and finding new ways to tackle a challenge

teach her that the magic is inside of herNon-believers like to be control

Can you think about ways in which you over parent or take charge, when your child could be okay figuring it out by themselves? By taking control for your child, you are sending a message that says you need a grown up. Do you find yourself ‘helpfully’ doing things for your child that they could quite easily do for themselves? What about if your ‘helpfulness’ was ‘interference’ which meant your child had missed an opportunity to learn a valuable life skill? In my coaching practise I see parents who unintentionally control their environment (and their child’s) in order to keep everything safe. It’s a sub conscious act, but one which needs to be brought into awareness to be addressed.

Great things come from silence

I was driving home late one night from my first Kundalini yoga class. Dark woodlands all around me and no sign posts to tell me where to go. I shone my full beam at the road ahead, desperately searching for signs. I was descending a steep hill and zig zagged. I had to slow right down to feel in control of the car. I wanted to feel safe in the darkness. Anybody else still scared of the dark sometimes? As I was driving I turned the radio down. Ridiculous how I wanted to lose the noise to help me see more clearly, but lost in the darkness, I safely found my way home. I had to trust that I was going to find my way regardless of what I could or couldn’t see. I felt my way instead of going into that ‘what if’ space in my head where I allow my fear to take over and scare me. When you go into that quiet space. Just sit for 10 minutes with a cup of tea and be calm. Or go for a bath. Or a walk.

This is how you tune into your Mum-tuition

This is where your Believer-ability lives. That wise place where whatever you need in a given moment can come to you. When I’m coaching the children call it their wise owl or dolphin. When I go to this place, I use my Smiley Thought Cards to guide me. They have a funny knack of reflecting back to me what my intuition wants me to know. So in your day to day life, when you feel like you are driving in the dark and you can’t find your way home or you hit a bump in the road, take a deep breath and have faith that whatever happens, you will find your way.

Trust yourself and your child to figure it out. Don’t let your fear hold you or them back. Being a believer means that your child will become more independent, more emotionally resilient and will learn to listen to themselves. They will never have to abandon themselves. Your child is made to struggle, so when they figure it out for themselves, they are empowered.

I want to finish by sharing a lovely story about how if you are not a believer (or a Belieber) how you can be converted.

A Lovely Smiley Story 

On New Year’s Day, I went to my friend’s house to celebrate. Even though my friend’s husband goes along with my angel banter (and even though they brought me a flying unicorn for Christmas), I do think he is sometimes kindly humouring me. After lunch my friend and I were doing Oracle card readings for the year ahead and after some teasing and snarky comments, we challenged him to use the Smiley Thought Cards. He asked my Smiley Thought Cards the same question 3 times (he shuffled the deck in between) and got the same card each time ‘I make a difference to the world’.
He was a bit freaked out and posted this status on Facebook. Remarkable!
paulsfbpostnyday IMG_1058 (2)
If you would like help to become more of a believer, then get in touch. I could help you to feel more confident about your parenting so that you can empower your children to believe too. It’s a great life skill to have. 
Love Smiley x
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