I’ve really been enjoying feedback from Truly Madly Smiley members. I set them a fun drawing challenge to shrink their worries.
I’m also feeling a tad nostalgic and incredibly excited about Just Like That – the next chapter of S3x and the City.
Do you remember, when I went on that epic trip to The Hay House Writers’ Workshop in NYC?
It’s lovely to see them taking action.
Many parents want their kids to be happy and develop these essential life skills, but not everybody has the Wildheart enthusiasm and staying power of my loyal listeners.
* round of applause, purleeese* 👏👏
I’m going to let you in on a secret……
Whilst taking action is a MUST for growing children with good self-esteem, and emotional smarts who thrive at life; taking the WRONG action is more damaging than scrolling on your phone thinking about it, and doing nothing.
Say you wanted to drive from Surrey to London, but unbeknownst to you, you took a wrong turn but kept driving (taking action). You’d end up in Wales or even Scotland.
The exact opposite of your goal.
In fact, sitting on your couch watching an episode of Eastenders would have gotten you closer to London than driving!
😖 And I don’t want that for you.
Here are a couple of flashing “Make a U-Turn Now” signs for your parenting road trip.
(And don’t worry if you’ve made one, two, or all of these mistakes … I see them as badges of honour, rites of passage, that only serious people make.)
⚡ Mistake #1 – Waiting for things to change
– While children go through developmental phases and have their own quirks (that make them uniquely gorgeous), many parents fail to see when something much deeper needs addressing.
Wildhearts have a specific temperament and that’s my area of expertise. If I had a penny for every parent who called me in a panic saying, ‘I wish we’d called you sooner!’….
⚡ Mistake #2 – Ignoring their Mum-tuition
– You see, even those of us who don’t “think” we need to listen, still have niggling doubts or inklings. Human nature dictates that our programming will negatively impact our children.
Think about it.
You’re going to either do the complete opposite to your parents, swinging too far the other way. Voila! A whole new set of issues. Or you’re going to repeat what you know…
BUT times have changed. These kids are growing up in toxic, stressful and funny times.
Besides, your kids aren’t you! Which brings me on to the next one…
⚡ Mistake #3 – Treating parenting like a skill set
– Look, I don’t think being a parent is easy, but it does get easier if you treat it as an extension of the relationship you have with yourself. If you don’t have good self-esteem, and suffer with your mental health, or if haven’t explored parts of your past (particularly the parts that hurt or challenged you), that’s a huge red flag. You’re going to come unstuck. So, all the parenting courses and books in the world will NOT help you. You have to help you first!
⚡ Mistake #4 – Thinking you’re in control
–Yeah! Me too. Bloody exhausting when you try and control the uncontrollable. You get the opposite of what you want.
🦋 Think of your child’s spirit like a butterfly.
Are you going to create a nice leafy, calm space for them to come and rest in when they need to (that requires a lot of trust in yourself and in them!)?
Or are you going to chase them about until you’ve caught them? They’re going to suffocate in your grasp…..or try to escape.
Did you ever have a boss who micro-managed you?
Yeah, no thank you! Discernment is our friend here – knowing the difference between taking charge and stepping into our power versus micro-managing the soul out of people. Now don’t worry if you see yourself in there. I do! I mean, I don’t have kids but if I had them and I didn’t do this for a living, that would be me.
I was a CONTROL FREAK until I started this journey in 2009.
Looking back I’d have done a Super Nanny and implemented that godawful naughty step to ‘discipline’ my kids or I would have felt super guilty about leaving them (because I had chronic separation anxiety and a difficult relationship with my Mum).
You don’t know, what you don’t know!
Let’s flip the script
