When I watch those crazy people on I’m a Celebrity eating kangeroo dingly danglies and lying in a wet rat-filled coffin, I shudder. I know the jungle is not for me -thank heaven I’m not in the Sinitta school of scaredy cats. I only watch it because I heart Ant and Dec.
What happens when things become so frightening that they prevent us from every day living?
Really it’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears. Sometimes you just have to fake it. Every time I stand up to speak in public, I’m crippled by fear. Fear of failure, feel of making a fool of myself – it becomes horrifying. For somebody with verbal diarrhoea that’s really saying something.
Here are 10 quick and simple techniques that could help you put on a front when you are feeling worried or anxious about doing something new:
1. Practise makes perfect
If you are doing something for the first time, it can be daunting – fear of the unknown. It gets easier with experience. Face the fearful situation / person or whatever it is you are not feeling very brave about. Keep practising until it becomes the norm.
2. Do it in Baby Steps
Think of your scary goal in bite sized manageable chunks. Dip your toe in the water and push yourself a little bit further each time. Notice how it makes you feel. Once you discover it isn’t as bad as you first thought, it will give you a confidence boost and spur you on. Remember to acknowledge and reward yourself after every step.
3. Tap all your cares away
Have you ever tried EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? Watch the video below and give it a go!
4. Change your body language
Actions speak louder than words. Confident people have a presence in a room and it’s not about what they say, it’s about they way they hold themselves. They walk a certain way, stand comfortably. They open up their bodies (no crossed arms or legs) and they maintain eye contact when they talk. Watch a confident person in action and copy them. If all else fails, you always have your smile.
5. Watch your thoughts
Your mind and body are connected . It all starts with your thinking so become aware of your thoughts – what we focus our attention on grows. If we give our fears anymore head space than they are entitled to, they will just get bigger and bigger. However, if we choose to think differently, then the good stuff will take over and all will be well. I make it sound easy and I know we have a million thoughts every day. It’s impossible to filter them all out, however having an awareness of how we speak to ourselves is the first step towards change. You might like to get a box of my Smiley Thought Cards to help you think more positively.
6. Be careful of the way that you speak to yourself
I bet you would never speak to a friend or somebody you loved this way. Beating yourself up for this and that. Please be kind to yourself and know that can handle anything that life chucks at you.
- I can’t do this or I should do this becomes I won’t do this or I could do this
- It’s not my fault becomes I’m totally responsible
- If only so and so hadn’t happened becomes next time I’m going to
- This is so hard and I’m struggling to make it right becomes life’s an adventure and a learning experience
- I don’t know what to do to make it right becomes I know I can handle it and I will find a way
- I’m focusing on what’s not right becomes I’m focusing on what I love about my life and what I’m lucky to have
- I’m waiting for something to change becomes I live in the now
7. Reach out and share
A problem shared is a problem halved, right? Talk to a trusted friend about how you feel. It will be a load off your mind and lighten your mood. Or you could talk to me.
8. Put it into perspective
What’s the worse thing that can really happen? Stand up to the fear that is ruling your mind. Fear keeps us stuck. It is a pointless and powerless emotion. It stops us from moving forward and living the life we deserve. Have fun learning and trying out new things – that’s what life is all about.
Know that you are capable of anything you set your mind to. You can do it, you really can 🙂 Believe, know and trust that whatever you are dreading will work out just fine.
10. Don’t listen to the nay sayers
Zone out from anybody who thinks you can’t do it or better still, prove them wrong.
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SmileyCoach recommends reading ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan JeffersImage credits © http://www.sxc.hu/ © http://www.studio49photography.com